My parents were always busy working. Most of my childhood was spent with my siblings at our grandparents which lived next door. My parents’ busyness drove themselves far away from us, but they still nature us to their fullest. My mother was always rushing every weekdays. She would wake us up for school and drops us off, goes back home babysit the little one and do chores, picks us up from school, drop us off at our grandparents, leave to work immediately, comes homes at midnight, showers, and then sleep. While my dad, wakes up early in the morning to got to work, comes home late at noon, makes us dinner, and puts us to sleep.
The busyness kept my parents from spending family time with us. When they were home on the weekends, they were just too tired to do anything so they would stay home, otherwise, they help out the relatives like the usual with the religious parties. I always wonder why my parents had to work so long everyday. As a young child at that time, I came up with two thoughts. First one was they were worked hard everyday so that they would buy candies and toys just for us, and secondly, was so we can move into a nice new house with lots of room for our family. Obviously those were just part of the reasons, the real reason was to keep they family healthy and live through this new economy. Being immigrants was hard on the family because my parents lack writing and speaking English so finding jobs was hard. Us, the children, we were expected to do good in school so we could get a good job for ourselves and help them out. They never ask us how we were doing in school, especially when we needed help most because being immigrants they had little knowledge of the new world. Never really gave us the chance to understand one another. I wouldn’t blame my parents for not being able to spend time with us because being immigrants working your way up in the America was difficult. A new language, economy, government, stereotype, and discrimination were some of the many things they face as immigrants.
In the book Busier Than Ever of chapter two about the the Trans, it states, “Binh and Sheila knew from experience how hard life could be, and they tried to shield their children from suffering as they had. They did this by utilizing adult-sponsored activities for their children in the fervent hope that this would hide the economic straits this family fallen into. More important, they expected their guidelines to lead their children along a path of educational and economic success at the same time as they reinforced strong family bonds.” (39). The example of this biological family enforces that family was most important. the parents chooses what is important and they will work around it if they have to. Of course this will create many buffers for both the parents and children because of work, childcare, and economic issues they face everyday and the children have education, activities inside and outside of school. The family will have hardships but overcoming it is just on the individuals’ will to change for the better.
It was the fact that my parents busyness was driven by the main structure of being immigrants. The structure led to many things they had to cope with such as the economy but it soon became a buffer as well. Also driven by the structure of the “American Dream,” they push us to be successful and didn’t want us to suffer as much as they did before coming to the United States of America. My parents didn’t have strong enforcement on family bonding due to that but these are possible reasons why my parents too busy to spend time the family.
by Thai Vang